Knock Gently and Draw me out
Author: Jessica Hadari
Clearing letter, written to a friend:
In our relationship: I have been insecure, endlessly needy for love & for reassurance, resentful, blameful. Thinking I’m not good enough
The impact this has: I am never satisfied, attached, shut down, dominating, I feel afraid and small. I don’t feel close to you.
The new Possibility I want to invent for myself and my life:
Being Accepting, being Open, being Fun, being Lighthearted, being a Supportive/a good friend,
Loving my Life, being Self Loving…
What I am accomplishing around this is seeing the ways I do not take responsibility for parts of myself I have decided to hate & ways of being I have decided to hate. Gaining awareness around the ways I have myself be dissatisfied… with everything.
I have been making you wrong for my imagining of you not wanting me
I have been incomplete in accepting you, forgiving you,
dropping my finger-pointing towards you, & dropping my feeling sorry for me
I have been jealous of your charisma
I have been resenting you for my story that you are not giving me enough; affection, depth, sharing, attention
I so regret that I am blameful in my communication w/ you, that I have been cutting you off, pushing you away, holding you at arms length, that I give you ultimatums in my head even though you have been open to me.
I am embarrassed that you are seeing these parts of me and these ways that I am being.
I give up my righteousness toward you. I give up my unskillful attempts to top you. I give up my insecurity and my story of not being wanted by you
I commit to loving and having you as an ally. I offer you that I will be your friend, no matter what we choose together for our relationship. I request your compassion.
I invite you to Knock Gently and Draw me out when I am not Letting You In…
Jessica Hadari is the founder of the Miracle Salon and the FEM Talks Alliance of Women Leaders, Educators & Healers.
Passionate about the "self-blossoming woman", for 15 years she has been privileged to lead countless women’s circles. Her greatest love? Watching women transform in the arenas of relationships, divine path and spiritual growth.
Each month she produces the Miracle Salon, a celebrated woman's wisdom networking event, as well as Women's Wisdom & Prayer Circles. Jessica immensely enjoys producing and collaborating around any women's event centered on emotional freedom.
She's a mother, writer, artist, hospice caregiver, master yoga teacher, holistic health practitioner, officiant, unconditional friend and voice of accountability in her Bay Area women’s communities.
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