Author: Jessica Hadari
I am called to write a quickie about each hospice resident living at the Guest House right now. How each gifted me today
Thank you, thank you, thank you … my creative juice for writing has returned. I was getting worried. Thank you to Beth Barany, the Feb 2012 FEM Talks speaker for getting me flowing again.
Also, I just have to say; I resent having to change the names of the guests at the hospice house. Waaa! I wish I could use their real first names. It creates confusion in me for some reason…but I understand and I will get over it.
“Jo” – The first thing I heard when I came into the house today, was a conversation in the kitchen, as the volunteer chef heard that the delicious breakfast had been thoroughly consumed by him. He had come to the house labeled “failure to thrive” and was not eating well, speaking and interacting … settling in.
How interesting it is to know and witness people, even at the end of their lives, flourish and blossom open here in this Guest House, like some kind of temple or place of healing. People heal into their deaths here.
“H” – H passed this morning during my shift. The new was brought out to us ladies — the nurses and women volunteers by Hanna the nurse coordinator. With tears in her eyes she shared the news. Like a crowd doing ‘the wave” I watched the visible affect stir our circle of women in the hallway at the nurses station. I felt like the wings of H’s soul fluttered all around and within each of us, stirring up whatever was there. Tears, remorse, gratitude, joy at her passing and freedom from her body.
An image of women as receptors, and our ability and birthright to be powerfully at the affect of all the passages of life.
“J” – J is swollen and uncomfortable. She is my age, with two children. As my fellow volunteer Jenny says, we are watching her soften. Even in her discomfort she is humorous and joking. There is a levity to her that was not there before. Blossoming in the guest House. She used to be hesitant to ask for what she needed and would then throw a tantrum and explode. Today she asked for eggs, pancakes and more. I think it is very healing for her to, perhaps for the first time in her life, get what she wants. Where can I ask for what I want more clearly and directly?
“R” – R is such a gem. It is easy for me to feel connected to this women who seems to be the archetypical grandmother to everyone here. She has always loved hug after hug. She is like a teddy bear. I see her decline and I take so much pleasure in feeding her and stroking her face and hugging her. I am reminded of all the little babies I get to care for these days. I am grateful. I will be sad when she passes, but today she seems more ready to go. She looked into my eyes at one point and whimpered as if to say “I am confused, I am uncomfortable.” I assured her that she can rest as much as she needs.
“O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into
the round jubilance of peach.
There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.”
From Blossoms, By Li-Young Lee
Jessica Hadari is the founder of the Miracle Salon and the FEM Talks Alliance of Women Leaders, Educators & Healers.
Passionate about the "self-blossoming woman", for 15 years she has been privileged to lead countless women’s circles. Her greatest love? Watching women transform in the arenas of relationships, divine path and spiritual growth.
Each month she produces the Miracle Salon, a celebrated woman's wisdom networking event, as well as Women's Wisdom & Prayer Circles. Jessica immensely enjoys producing and collaborating around any women's event centered on emotional freedom.
She's a mother, writer, artist, hospice caregiver, master yoga teacher, holistic health practitioner, officiant, unconditional friend and voice of accountability in her Bay Area women’s communities.